Sigh

My dad has once brought me to some feng shui-ish to read my future and all, and I've been told that I would be restless these few years, and stuffs like what horoscope would my future wife be and all.. I was like niasing wtf you telling me my future for? If I knew what would happen in the future what fuck thrill would I have in my life? I chose not to believe, not to trust a single word he'd said.. But they came true, 1 by 1, bit by bit..

For a moment we were so attached, and now I'd found out that we aren't, and we were never attached, it was just me falling over you, again.. I'd let myself to hope again, and when I did, joy filled the several days, and thunderstorm stroke the rest.. It's different, being someone special, and being someone who you love.. One can be someone you love and at the same time someone special, but never someone special and someone you love.. Days has gotten even worse compared to back then.. The words didn't hit me hard, I was barely broken.. But tomorrow would be seen as today, all the same, nothing different, nothing significant.. Even gay-ing with Kyle hardly turns me on anymore..

*Kk* means I feel the warmth of your arms during that day, but from how things are now, I can't leave it as *Kk*.. For the most you could treat me is someone special, and for me, someone special and someone you love ain't just a step gap away.. These would sound as though as I'm wanting more, expecting more, but no, I've learn to give up.. I don't know how things would be from now on, neither do I know whether you'd still hold the key, or has the key gone missing..

*K*