Victory, the winner?

Portraying that there will be a winner and a loser at the end of the game of love was rather wrong. Is there a prize that solely belongs to the winner? Or rather is there any prize at all? The more I seek for answers, the more questions pop up. And I realize that there is no end to it, that journey I was on, never existed all along.

To set a time frame to grief was something I couldn't do. Because I can't guarantee that after that period of time, I wouldn't feel sad about it anymore, or if I am ready to move on. I know it isn't wrong to leave the relationship because the heart just don't wanna do it anymore. But reasons like that could really destroy a person, destroy me. For someone who'd put and loved so much to be left with sayings like this is just a disaster.

All those words and advices told to me, about being strong and move on, letting go, and stop thinking about it, I'd honestly heard enough. I know about all these, I know about trying, and to try even harder, and if that doesn't work out try EVEN harder. But the grief and thoughts come naturally. I can't control it, even if I'd to force myself to not think about it. My friend told me "God wouldn't completely shut me out, if he closes the door, the window might be opened. There will always be a path for you to crawl out of it". And I was thinking, like what had been mentioned before, even if i close the door, the window might be opened, and that opening would get Satan into my head!

As much as I'm trying my best, and as much as I know I got to keep trying, this deep stinging pain hasn't go away. The worst thing about hoping is not knowing when will your hopes come true, and the worst thing about grieving is not knowing when will the pain be gone........